What Tomorrow May Bring

In the early morning light I can make out his outline. He is asleep on his side and I am snuggled close behind him. My arm wraps around his waist to keep him close to me and I delight in the feel of his body next to mine. He is strong and sturdy and it feels so good to be next to him.
I've awakened before him again -- I don't know why this happens. I never used to be an early riser. But on this Saturday morning, I want to let him sleep, to rest, because I know we won't always have that luxury. We've been stationed at an army post with a high turnover of troops headed for Iraq or Afghanistan. I stay snuggled close to him as I ponder what would happen if he deploys. Would it be easier the second time around? When he was in Iraq, there was constant stress and worry every day, especially if I didn't hear from him. Afghanistan is at least quieter than Iraq but even that has gotten noisy lately.

He's told me there's a 99% possibility he could be deployed, but a slim chance maybe not. I joke that I would write a note to his CO asking him to be excused from deployment but it is a dream, a fantasy that would only work in a Hollywood movie. He is a professional soldier. For him, it's not a question of whether or not he wants to go. There is a mission that must be accomplished. He goes so the rest of us don't have to. You can't argue with selfless service. I knew what I was getting when I married him.

But if he goes... The bed will be too big, the nights too long and the days too lonely. Who will make me laugh? A year is a long time to be away from your best friend. A year is a long time, period, no matter who you're away from.