The Geek & The Chic

Monday, January 30, 2006

Ah, The Irony

It's been a long time since I felt the way I did Saturday afternoon. I came home to an empty house after leaving Husband and thought, "What now?" My feelings were a mix of sadness, exhaustion and anxiety. Part of the sadness was the reminder that Shadow was no longer here, part missing my best friend. I was tired because I hadn't slept well and the anxiety came from knowing what lay ahead for Husband. It's one thing to take a trip, it's quite another when your trip takes you to a war zone. But he had promised to call as soon as he could. So I waited.

I spent some time Saturday doing nothing. To be honest, I had no energy, no desire and no ambition to go anywhere. I did force myself to take a walk to the mailbox, just so I didn't coop myself up. But really at the heart of it was that I didn't want to miss his call. So I waited.

Saturday night came and went with no phone call. I wasn't too concerned -- I wasn't sure where he would land and, let's face it, you're travelling with 200 other soldiers who also want to call their wives and loved ones so there's a wait for the phone.

Sunday morning came and I debated about going to church. I didn't want to miss his call so I decided I would attend the absolute last mass of the day at church, about 5pm. I figured by then I would hear. I needed to hear his voice. To me, his voice is the one that cuts through the noise, speaks to my heart and is as sweet as music to my ears.

At 2pm the phone rang and my heart skipped. But it wasn't the house phone, it was his cell phone. I looked at the display and saw his supervisor's name. Huh? That didn't make any sense. Wasn't she on the plane too? I answered the phone and it was his supervisor's husband, wanting to know if I'd heard anything yet. I told him no and it turns out he hadn't either. I got his phone number and promised to call if I heard anything.

Worry crept in. This man retired from the military at the rank of Command Sergeant Major. He had 26 years of service and he's calling me? OK, my brain thought. The CSM is worried, so you should be too. So I did. A little. After all, I reassured myself, there was no news and sometimes no news can be good news.

The CSM called me about 45 minutes later. I heard the cell phone ringing in the bedroom where I had plugged it in to charge. He'd just heard from his wife and all was well. They'd had some airspace issues and had to turn around to a more western friendly country. Ok, I thought: Husband will be calling soon!

But by 5pm there was still no call and I was beginning to fret, worry and stress. It's amazing how those same exact feelings from a year ago (when he was in Iraq) came flooding to the surface. No church, I didn't want to miss his call.

At 6pm I looked at the cell phone charging. There was a new voicemail on it. Oh no! I knew who it was from and I was so disappointed that I wasn't able to speak with him. But he did call. And I did get to hear his sweet voice. And with a simple message of love, we reconnected across the miles.


  • ahhhhhh you made me scared there for a moment!!

    By Blogger Monica, at 9:21 PM  

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