Mike Porcaro, Where Are You?

Mike Porcaro is a radio host with an afternoon drive program in Anchorage. His show was on 4 -6pm, so I would make a point of listening as I drove home. The format was talk. It's probably his show that got me really hooked on local talk radio. I like to hear intelligent thought, debate and especially what people are thinking about the issues. Silly me, though, thinking that talk radio would be the same wherever you want. That is to say intelligent, thoughtful and interesting. Ha!

Talk radio in this town stinks. It sucks. Yes, it really sucks. The only local talk shows I find are on the same station. The noon show is hosted by the mayor. One would think a show hosted by the mayor would be intelligent, thoughtful and interesting. Besides reading the newspaper ala FDR, he insists on going to a second class website (hosted by a local TV station) for "other news". And he's biased to the point that I wonder just who pays his salary. I wonder if the rest of the town agrees with me since there are very few call-ins to his show.

The other show comes on at 5pm. It's hosted by the Village Idiot. This man loves to hear the sound of his own voice. Since he likes the sound of his own voice, he plays in the background (quite frequently) a loop of people applauding. He, too, likes to quote the newspaper and the wanna-be website. He, at least, has more callers since he likes to discuss entertainment issues. In addition to the TV station he likes to encourage viewership to, he also must be cable's-- scratch that, on a satellite dish company's payroll too.

What brought this particular blog entry about was a "news event" that happened over the weekend. A state legislator was hit over the head with a beer bottle by a former employee at his flower shop. The incident occured at a news anchor's house and the legislator was hospitalized for it. All three participants in this -- this, what? Menage a trois? Lovers quarrel? are men. And yet there is hardly a mention of it on talk radio. The mayor practically called it a non issue today. Thank God someone called him to ask about that very issues. Will there, or won't there be charges brought against the agitator? It's all very interesting (I admit, a morbid curiousity and even if it's never settled, I'll sleep at night) but it's being ignored.

So, I hereby resolve to turn to another station. I will not write the letter I was planning to write to the station owner. And I'll get over my addiction to talk radio. At least until the next duty station.

Your 30 Seconds Are Up, Now Please Go!

I've been watching a lot of TV lately. Then again, maybe I'm watching just as much (or little) and noticing the commercials more. And some of them just need to go away.

I've always had a critical eye about commercials. In my younger days, I thought I wanted to be a copywriter and write those ads myself. I don't know -- somewhere along the way I took a left instead of a right and ended up on the other side of television. And that's fine. No complaints -- it is what I chose after all. But should anyone reading this want to offer me the opportunity to write a few spots, I won't say no. But let me point out too, that the bonus of not writing the commercials means that I get to play armchair quarterback with all of the fun and none of the guilt. And now I present Part 1 of 2 of my list of commercials that just need to go away.

The Old Navy commercials. Sure they've got catchy tunes and happy people but none of those people look like me.

Fructis Garner Shampoo commercials. This one -- what can I say? The gist of the ad is how strong the shampoo makes your hair. Hair is dead, people! Hair has no strength and no amount of shampoo will bring it back to life. Move on.

Honey Bunches of Oats commercials. That woman who asks, "Are you hungry?" No, I'm not, but thanks for asking. Now go away.

Crest Toothpaste. Get rid of the bam. Old. Passe'. In short, boring.

Nextel Phone. There are two or three in rotation. The one I can't stand has the "Jump Up & Down for Joy" room. Can you say stupid? I can. Hey Nextel, it's stupid!

In the infamous words of television, stay tuned for part 2.

Something in the Air

The wind blew yesterday -- so what else is new around here?

Ah but yesterday's wind had a distinct odor. An odor of spring and new growth, of farmland coming to life. An odor of cow manure.

The wind was steady and it carried that odor far and wide. There's a lot of farmland around here so heaven only knows where it was coming from but it was there.

The problem with the odor of the cow manure in the wind is not the cow manure itself. It's that it reminded me of a ferocious wind storm Anchorage had last year. The wind was so strong that it caused signs to fall, awnings to come crashing down and traffic lights to sway like a little girl's rag doll. Have you ever been in the wind where it just takes your breath away? That's what that storm was like and I think most people were glad when it was over. But after it was over, one of the news anchors (this particular anchor thinks he's God's gift to TV news) at a TV station commented that there are lots of particles in the wind that we just don't see. In particular, he mentioned dog poop. Petrifed pieces of dog poop blowing in the wind. Now that's a pleasant thought and here I am, sniffing cow manure. And cows are much bigger than dogs.

Husband called me today to let me know that just over 3% of his deployment is done. He even sounded excited about it. I, on the other hand, was not. He looked at 3%, I was looking at the 97% remaining.

I'm in danger of becoming a creature of habit. I wake up, get dressed, come home for lunch, come home after work, eat supper, watch TV and shower then it's to bed. Repeat. There are occasions I have things to do in the evening. On weekends I like to run errands. But my point is, there's not an awful lot keeping me busy these days. I'm really trying to find something to like about Watertown but my mother taught me not to say anything if I couldn't find anything nice to say. Maybe it's not that bad but I just haven't found where I need to be.

In the meantime, in my own effort at rebellion of the rut, I've started going to the gym this week. I was doing some treadmill work (my walk to nowhere as I called it) but it's too easy to sleep in and convince (or at least pretend you've convinced yourself) that you can do it after work. Besides 30 minutes on the treadmill is monotonous I've found, even with the television on.

I like to People Watch while I'm at the gym. There are soldiers, spouses and others. I was hesitant to go to the gym at first but nobody really cares. Everybody's just doing their own thing, as I am. And I swear the guy at the desk flirted with me too. It's nice to know I still got it!