The Geek & The Chic

Monday, May 01, 2006

Worst Commercials, Part 2

I'm going to finish the list tonight and much to my surprise, there aren't many left.

The one I was trying to think of, that set all of this in motion, is a commercial for life insurance through AARP. The wife is speaking to her husband saying, "we've got to get more life insurance" and she keeps whining and whining until her husband says, "Honey, shut up!" No, he really doesn't say that but I wish he did. The other, and slightly more tacky, AARP spot I don't like is the auto insurance card for AARP. In the ad, a female motorcycle cop pulls over the driver for no apparent reason other than to harrass him to see if he has AARP insurance. I think today's seniors are more savvy than these commercials give them credit for and if I was in the silver haired group, I'd be insulted. I should go find a grandma and ask if she is. Maybe we could stage a rebellion against stupid commercials.

Also on the list are most drug companies ads too. The Claritin commercials must go away, as should any product dealing with incontinence, indigestion and bloating. If you must run these ads, please do not use people for the before and after affect. If I have the problem, I'm already famaliar with the symptoms and probably don't want to be reminded of it. Drug companies make enough money anyway. I suggest by saving the money they won't be spending on the ads, spend the money in third world countries that cannot afford the cost of an aspirin. Then you'll be a good guy in my eyes.

The other spot I dislike is more because of it's trend, not actual product. At the moment, there's a Shredded Wheat commercial airing -- the frosted kind, and the cereal and a girl are at a spelling bee and the little piece of cereal is helping her spell aardvark. I'm all for spelling bees and heck, we all know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. No, what perturbs me is talking food. I do not want to eat anything that can talk back to me. I don't talk to my food, why should it talk to me? And it's not even limited to food but crosses over into inanitmate objects too. There's a spot selling soda and in the darkened deli, the party by the soda cans in the refrigerator case begins while the other soda cans down below complain about the noise. Hey, I live in an apartment -- you think I need to be reminded about noisy neighbors? A few years ago -- I don't even remember what it was for, they showed a talking sandwich sitting in a refrigerator with two olives for eyes. So not only did it talk, but it could see you too. Can you imagine what food would say if it could talk, "Aaaaahhhhhhh, don't eat me!" Or would it give us stock tips and weather reports? Now that would be worth listening to. But seriously, the only thing any food should ever say is snap, crackle, pop.

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