The Hazards of My Job

At my job, I get to watch TV all day. Ordinarily this is not necessarily a bad thing when you can change the channel. But that's the rub, at my job I cannot. So I suffer through some particularly bad programming, most notably the soap operas and Family Feud. I used to be able to watch soap operas but not anymore. Everything is too dramatic. My life has enough drama. I don't need anymore added to it.

But that Family Feud. It makes me want to scream! Those families are so stupid. I even yell at the TV which makes my co-workers wonder about me. It makes me wonder if aliens have taken over their brains. Why else would you subject yourself to the humility of demonstrating to America how stupid you are? The stupidity doesn't always show up when they're feudin' the other family for all the points that will take them to the bonus round but every once in a while some yokel has some stupid answer and even though everybody knows it's stupid, they're compelled to reassure the fool with the infamous words, "Good answer! Good answer!" The sad part is, I think they believe it. But the stupidity really shows itself at the bonus round. Now granted, I'm sitting at my desk and under no pressure but I've always considered myself able to think on my feet. But these people get to the bonus round and their common sense (if they have any) flies out the window. Take, for example, a real gem I heard today:

Host: Name a kind of pit
Contestant: armpit

Huh? What about peach, cherry or plum? My first thought was peach, which by the way was the number one answer. But these people don't think like that. There was another question which further stumped our illustrious contestant:

Host: Name a sport where your weight would be a factor
Contestant: Tennis

Um. Okay. You always see lots of chubby tennis players, right? I thought of wrestling but the number one answer (and you can just see how illogical this one is) was football.

There is something to be said about thinking outside the box but national TV wouldn't be my first choice to demonstrate it. Which is why I will never go on Jeopardy. I'm a very good couch player but I wouldn't want to go on TV and prove it all wrong.